是那个接下来要跟你共度余生

asf323

　　前几天下班拼车回家，撞着了一个特爱唠嗑的专车师傅。
　　师傅牙齿很黑，时不时发笑，说起话来既响亮又迅速，一会儿问我司发了多少年终奖，一会儿跟我大谈今年春运形势，反正我也没啥事，就陪他瞎掰了一阵。
　　后面他可能觉得光跟我扯也没意思，把目光转向了坐在副驾驶的那位姑娘。
　　姑娘瞧起来很年轻，实际上也快三十了，画着精致的妆，即便快凌晨了她整个人照样神清气爽。
　　师傅见着她的手指不断摁着手机屏幕，寻思她在跟对象聊天，扭过头问姑娘，咦，男朋友还没睡呀?
　　姑娘一脸茫然地抬起头：您是在跟我说话吗?我的话，目前还单着。
　　师傅诧异地看了姑娘一眼，皱着眉摇摇头，这哪能啊，瞧你这要颜值有颜值，要身材有身材，追你的人准排成长队啊。
　　姑娘说，追求我的人是有，但都不是我想要的样子。
　　家庭条件好点的，对感情不上心，不知道能随心所欲爱一个人几分。
　　长得好看的，很多还在尽情享受着一个人的单身生活，要定下来很难。
　　各方面硬条件都好的，三观又不合，像我这种拼命好强，刚念完硕士又准备读博士的女生，还是想找一个至少气势上能压过我的，不然以后过日子多难受。
　　的士师傅听完后倒是静下来了，30秒过后，给了姑娘一击猝不及防的心灵伤害：我说姑娘，要求这要求那的，可别最后把自己给困住了，你这样的姑娘再执念下去，是真嫁不出去了。
　　空气凝固了十分之一分钟，姑娘带着能够融化冬夜的笑容说道，
　　嫁不出不算坏，嫁错了才是一生的悲哀。
　　02
　　以前听说过这么一段话：
　　“多管闲事的男生为女生以后嫁不出去所担忧，却忘记她们根本不会嫁给他们，甚至不会多看他们一眼。一群人为另外一群根本看不上自己的人的婚姻大事所操心，这种热心的态度真是叫人感动。”
　　讲真，结婚这事儿，看得上就结，不适合就散，哪那么多逼事。
　　女生的要求高不高，是依照自身的条件来决定的，一没逼迫男生砸锅卖铁盖栋房，二没吃别人家大米用别人家的柴米油盐，想找个与自己条件相配，真心互相喜欢的对象，难不成还应该受什么惩戒?
　　当一个女生的年龄迈过30岁，比起身体的衰老更可怕的，是这个世道容不下女生晚嫁的流言蜚语。
　　“方圆一公里就你没结了。”
　　“到了结婚的年纪，你怎么还单着啊。”
　　“大把人在门口排着队，你为什么就不随便挑一个凑合凑合?”
　　我不知道所谓的“结婚的年纪”是如何界定的，但我知道，还单着的正确的解决办法绝不是就此认命找一个不爱的人荒度一生。
　　20岁的时候谈恋爱就像玩抢椅子，每个人都东奔西跑地玩乐，但是在30岁左右的时候音乐停止了，每个人都开始坐下，但你绝非想心不甘情不愿地挨着一个不爱的人坐下。
　　嫁给最心爱的人，只是因为那才是30岁时离你最近的椅子，因为年纪到了而进入婚姻，那张椅子即使在，你也不会因此满足。
　　03
　　一年前，我一个好朋友跟她结婚两年的丈夫分道扬镳了，尽管她很自责。
　　为什么?就因为将就下来的婚姻没法爱下去。
　　本以为年纪大了找个各方面还行的人也还可以过生活，但走到底，她还是说服不了自己。
　　性格不合，两个人亲近时像扎人的刺猬;生活方式不合，女生爱新鲜刺激男生爱稳定顾家;女生为男生的不懂浪漫而失落，男生为女生的折腾而疲惫，相处两年，满是裂痕。
　　爱情在我们精神生活中的意义是独特的，一辈子那么长，拥有最深刻的感情，才不算白活。
　　对象诶，是那个接下来要跟你共度余生，陪你看着时光一点一点从指缝溜走的人诶，跟对的人在一起，时间虚度也快活，跟不对的人在一起，就算一分一秒都没浪费，你也会觉得彷徨不安，心无所属。
　　管你今天相亲相了两个还是两百个，管你现在是三十岁还是四十岁，如果结婚比单身还要不幸福，那为什么要结呢?
　　喜欢190的个子，那就不要向着和你身高海拔在同一水平线上的人飞奔而去。喜欢温柔细心的类型，就找个每天提前看好天气预报，告诉你明天可以穿什么样衣服的人在一起。喜欢颜好活好的人，那就把爱情的始发站定在高颜值场上。
　　感情里，我们都不是圣人，别在任何情况下都高估自己的忍耐力。
　　从来没有该结婚的年龄，只有该结婚的感情，倘若没有感情，相信我，你忍不了多久的。
　　04
　　可能每个不愿意向婚姻妥协的人都有过晚婚的焦虑。
　　但面对焦虑，最好的办法不是逃避，也不是消极以对，而是让自己读更多的书，见更多的人，走更多的路，不丢掉该有的柔情，也不抛弃一个女性应有的独立。
　　一个月前，蔡依林和锦荣分手时，可能在很多人眼里，会同情她，会心疼她，会觉得这就是一个女人的不幸。
　　但三十多岁的她，完全没有被悲伤埋溺的影子，远赴英国学习制作蛋糕，学完还顺手拿了个金奖回来，去巴黎看维密秀，自身的衣品和眼光，也是被众人夸赞。
　　去年，蔡依林在网上分享了一篇文章，说的是洛杉矶前副市长的亲身经历，观点是“女人不要30岁前结婚”。蔡依林转发后写下：“所以，独立塑造一个完整的生活吧。形成自己的观点和兴趣，不要为了一个男友而拋弃它们。”
　　一个真正强大的女性产生的魅力，是不会随着年龄增长而消逝的，婚姻是自己的，当遇到的人还不够与之发生关系的时候，那就先把自己做到极致，被自己所喜欢。
　　一见钟情会有的，两厢情愿也会有的，你要等，要去找，但千万别将就。
　　为什么你这么优秀的人还嫁不出去?因为你早早地嫁给了自己啊。
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